There’s a preconceived notion out there that if a parent talks to their teen, then the teen won’t listen. Not true, says a new study. According to a co-author of the study, adults may assume that teens’ most important relationships are with their peers; however, the teens’ relationships with their parents also play an important role in their mental health. In fact, teens who found it easy to talk to their parents were more emotionally healthy.
As health communicators, how do we translate these findings for the general public? How would we communicate to parents the importance of talking to their teen, even when the teen is being unruly and dismissive? A lot of parent-teen relationships are volatile and parents may become frustrated and angry at their teen. What are good methods to encourage parents to continue to talk to their teen even when they feel that it’s useless?
Photo courtesy of Emery Co Photo via mafleen.
This is so true. Parents often give up on trying to find ways to connect and communicate because they see a teens surliness as disinterest and rejection.
In my work with parents of teens (I'm a psychologist) I try to help parents find the windows and playful ways to make contact and open dialogue. I made a set of cards, for example, that parents can offer their teens so they can sort through the important questions to ask when dating. Maybe a teen won't hear this wisdom from a parent but they will play with cards. My,Things to Know Before You Say "Go", cards offer a gem for parents who want their children to have access to relationship wisdom, even if they may not be open to a deep conversation.
The card questions also come as an iphone app, The Questions, that parents can gift to their kids so teens have this wisdom in their pocket.
My solutions offer ways to keep the wisdom present but make the access playful and engaging. If parents will look for ways to keep light yet persistent teens really do listen to parents.
I've spent my share of times hanging out with teens – I was one once, I taught nutrition in high school for several years, and I still work with them today because I THIN K TEENS ROCK.
That said, a lot of adults can't figure out how to talk to their teenagers, and I think that some actual training might be in order. Does anyone know of groups or counselors that specifically work with parents and teens on communication? When I searched online, I got a lot of information about talking to teens about sex and substance abuse, but nothing on the basics of communication.
I'm interested in learning what resources are out there for parent-teen communcation education!
Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relevance, and Fairness also known as the SCARF acronym. I encourage you all to google the acronym and learn more about how our brains works and what things that will help us make better relationships with everyone.
I am a fan of my two teenagers. Thanks to SCARF.
As healthcare professional, I believe that we need to accept the parents as they are first and then encourage them to review available resources to help them understand what works and what doesn't work. I hope that all the psychologist/counselors have this tool in their toolbox kit or are willing to alteast look at it to see if it may help in their work.